The Garden Party (1918) by James Guthrie
what i learned from AP tests
- though math is called the universal language and is lauded for transcending cultural bounds and barriers, every discipline in which math can be applied has different rules for rounding numbers. i’m 95% confident that the difference between the proportion of conflicts that math creates due to significant figure debates and the proportion of connections math has forged is between - oh, never mind.
- no matter how much data you analyze, you can never prove that your explanatory variable actually explains your response variable. for example: if morgan spurlock eats mcdonalds everyday for a month, his weight gain is not necessarily due to his extreme diet. there are always lurking and confounding variables in an experiment. who wants fries?
- you can know whether or not three statements are true, but once they are numbered I, II, and III and are paired together in different combinations, you begin to believe that everything you ever learned is a lie. it is true that blue and red make purple, and it is true that 2 is an even number, but is it true that blue and red make purple and that 2 is an even number? this is too difficult. skip it and move on.
- if you come up with two answers on a question and aren’t sure which one is right, write both and cross one out lightly so that if the answer you think is wrong is actually right, your grader can give you full credit. hey, if you were correct at some point in time, you might as well get credit for it.
- don’t fall in love with a man in a portrait. he is likely a piece of propaganda and, unless you’re ogling an ancient roman bust, highly idealized.
- just because it looks like a pipe, doesn’t mean it is a pipe. images are treacherous. c’est dommage.
- history will remember rothko and oldenburg but not carpeaux.
- it is important to know how to draw a straight line through a set of data points. in fact, it is so important that you must know how to do it in order to be considered competent in physics with calculus.
- if a man is pulling a live polar bear with a rope, the most important thing you need to know is that they are on a frictionless surface, meaning the center of mass of the system will not change.
- don’t leave a full test tube rack in a precarious position if you want to preserve lab equipment.
- don’t leave the lid off a container of a rare chemical if you want to preserve your chemistry grade.
- always study molecular orbital theory. it is never on your comprehensive exams, but knowing it makes you feel intelligent.
- never Imagine a Perfectly Clear Breezy Summer Night. it will probably suck because five strong acids will be floating around in your swimming pool.
- in AP Calculus BC, the C is to remind you to add a C at the end of your indefinite integrals. the B is to remind you of your math grade after taking the series test.
- in AP Physics C, the C is to remind you that everything you need to know is on the constant sheet with the formulas. except you don’t have the formulas during multiple choice. perhaps it serves to remind you to pick C when in doubt. more likely it just means “C-what-you-got-wrong-once-you-get-the-formulas.”
…and i only took 6 tests (counting both physics). imagine how much smarter i would have been had i not been an underachiever and had self-studied more than one, being that my school offers so few…
still a little wired by the red hot chili peppers concert saturday night. i didn’t think it would affect me this much, yet when the band came onstage and started playing “monarchy of roses,” rationality went out the window. i spent the rest of the night screaming out my favorite songs with my favorite band and thousands of drunk people i had never met in my life.
but i didn’t really felt the punch until i came home and tried to sleep. it was hours past my bedtime, but all my body wanted to do was play back the music of that night. it was then that i realized how incredible it was that i had actually been in the same building as them, the four responsible for the music that has basically kept me alive since 8th grade.
i miss being a fangirl. i’ll put that on my list of things to do this summer - fall in love with the rhcp again.
Portrait of Leonilla, Princess of Sayn Wittgenstein (1843) by Franz Xaver Winterhalter
Exactly one year ago, I took my AP Art History exam. It was very empowering to take that test. At the end of sophomore year, when some of my classmates were self-studying AP tests, I told myself it absolutely wasn’t possible for me to do the same. Yet somehow, one year of determination later, there I was, writing an essay comparing Venus of Urbino with Olympia (totally called that question!) and answering questions about Jan Van Eyck.
Though it was a just a year ago, it feels like ages since then. I’ve grown closer and farther from people, lost and won various battles, and sinusoidally hated and loved myself. For some reason, this year has felt more turbulent than others.
I guess I’m just generally not a body that likes change, and this year has introduced more changes than I’m used to handling. It’s funny how different my priorities now are compared to where they were last year. I don’t know whether I should be ashamed or if I should congratulate myself.
Ali (1974) by Lucian Freud
Self Portrait (1850) by Léon Bonnat
1% of humanity possesses 99% of the beauty. And the talent. Damn.